Nudes & Boods for 2005...You Suckaaaaaas!

A festive spot to spy on my neighbors from.

In a little less than two days time, we'll be saying goodbye to 2005, a year that, in my humble and hypercritical opinion, sucked stupendously. However, not to be a total Grinch about it all, a few roses did manage to blossom from between the cracks of the pissy concrete that was the past 12 months. So without further ado, I present the First Annual News & Booze End of the Year List Debauchery! It's like a orgy with unsubstantiated opinions substituted for DP! Of course, most of my friends, busy with holiday merriment, gainful employment, and meaningful human relationships, failed to submit their lists to me...but that's OK (*sniff*). The few I did get are potent and y'all would never know if made the others up myself unless I put the doubt in your heads by saying that I might do such a thing. Hmmm.

DZ a.k.a. Tacit - Kid-teaching, Poem and Rhyme-writing, DV-editing, Beatmaking dude

TOP 5 ALBUMS OF 2005
1. Platinum Pied Pipers - Triple P
2. I-Self Devine - Self Destruction
3. The Game - The Documentary
4. Edan - Beauty & the Beat
5. Kanye West - Late Registration

TOP 5 FILMS OF 2005
1. Munich - Maybe cuz I saw it last night, but goddamm it was good
2. Sin City
3. The Squid & The Whale
4. A History of Violence
5. Syriana - Very, very confusing, but still intense and suspenseful

Taiyo Takeda - Poet, Author, Musician, TV Personality...just wait a week for another title

TOP 5 ALBUMS OF 2005
1. Damian Marley - Welcome to Jamrock
2. M.I.A. - Arular
3. Blue Scholars - Blue Scholars
4. Common - Be
5. Kanye West - Late Registration

TOP 5 BOOKS OF 2005
1. Can't Stop Won't Stop by Jeff Chang
2. Heartbeat of Struggle: The Revolutionary Life of
Yuri Kochiyama by Diane Fujino
3. Real Karaoke People by Ed Bok Lee
4. Dharma, Color and Culture by Hilda
Gutierrez-Baldoquin
5. We Should Never Meet by Aimee Phan

Urn a.k.a. Auracle a.k.a. Aurock Shakur - Young Derelict, Culo Connoisseur and N.O.R.E. (Narcoleptic on the Run Editing)

TOP 5 GARBAGEST TRACKS OF 2005
1. D4L - "Laffy Taffy"
I'd rather get an exploratory prostate exam from a big girl with cold hands than listen to this shit.
2. Black Eyed Peas - "My Humps"
You ain't got no "lovely lady lumps," Fergie. Though you may have bumped you damn head. Will.I.Am--put out another BBE joint or you're dead to me.
3. Ying Yang Twins - "Wait (The Whisper Song)"
Don't you whisper things you don't want others to hear? Next time, y'all, follow that logic.
4. Mariah Carey - whatever the fuck that song was with JD's butterbean-bald ass sauntering around in the video while her hair blowing in some miraculous in-door wind. No, Mimi. No.
5. Every joint "I'd Sell My Soul For" 50 Cent put out this year aside from "Ski Mask Way" and that verse on 'Hate It or Love It".
Duke doesn't care who he has to sell out, with "The Massage Massacre" as the latest crap rap release of his "Ja Rule-r than Ja Rule" period.

TOP 5 HIPSTER JOCK TENDENCIES OF 2005 (No Subliminal, No P(r)omo, Shields, Punch-buggy-no-punch-back)
1. Baltimore Club/Houston Screw/Brazilian Funk Carioca/British Grime/any slum music -
About time but the saturation is lewdicrous. And DJs making more money than the cats that they're spinning is that eternal bullshit, especially when there's already a financial gap from the get-go.
2. Juelz Santana/Dipset/Cam'ron (in that order) -
It's all about 15-year old brown schoolgirls and 20-something white male bloggers, somehow.
3. M.I.A. -
...though I love her like a fat celeb loves stomach stapling.
4. White Privilege -
The greatest trick the White Devil ever played was convincing the world that he didn't exist)
5. Blackness ("Negritude" for the liberal arts majors) -
As always. And, ironically enough, one of the few things we didn't even create.

TOP 5* ALBUMS I WANT THAT WERE TALKED ABOUT IN 2005 COMING OUT (MAYBE) IN 2006
1. Outkast - Idlewild
2. El-P - I'll Sleep When You're Dead
3. Nas/DJ Premier - (If it's not some classic shit, folks will be very, very angry)
4. Ghostface - Fishscale
5. Lupe Fiasco - Food & Liquor/Spank Rock debut jawnt

* I swear I heard something about a follow-up by M.I.A., but I stay lapsing. Same goes for Bilal.

Anyhow, Happy Few Beers! (Yeah, I'm killing the pun market...meh.) For real, be safe, family. Watch your drinks, watch out for your friends, try not to drink and drive, keep a level head, and enjoy 2006 with me. We got big thangs to do.

Aaron

Season's Bleatings.

Still more solid than a New Orleans levee or a Bush crony alibi.

How has everyone's holiday been? Disfunction-free, I hope. Or at least something that can be laughed at looking back at the home movie (though jeering at surveillance video in court tends to ruin testimony). Once again, I got nothing I asked for for Christmas but, rather, pity, rage, and disgust. How truly Catholic a celebration.

So...now that I've set an ire record for this blog, back to the secular and seckled-down shit. Since Verizon's been playing with my emotions (I don't like people playing with my phone!), I got a coupla-coupla links previously unexploited, for y'all's nerding pleasure.

"Media-assassin" Harry Allen, Greg Tate, Pete Rock and a whoooole lotta others politic about sampling in a new INCREDIBLY FRESH-looking documentary entitled Copywrite Criminals. And just like Cam (or, perhaps, completely unlike him), they really mean it when it comes to creative license.

Grimetime: An intimate photo essay by Simon Wheatley shows London's council estate youth on their daily graft. Not so different from Stateside, eh? The sounds a bit jankrofied but the shots are worth the sacrifice. (via Spine Magazine)

Lemmefindoubt...50 kept his crack in girlie draws? No promo.

I haven't been being much of a sneakerfiend (no, not Overfiend, you sick fuck) recently, but I really must have these. I mean, they got a dude flying a kite on 'em, fa Chrissakes. Only thing hotter would be a print of young Hassidim spinning a dreidels...challah at me, Nike execs.

Who gives a cares about The DaVinci Code? It's all about the Chappelle Theory. This is what the Hollywood game is missing! (thanks, HiphopMusic.com)

Spank Rock x Disco D = Nasstiness.

Had a Baby, It's a Boy.

I've been a little occupied, but Urn's been doing a damn fine job holding down the Noticias y Cervezas. Be back soon, promise. Until then, say hello to Sheldon. He says fuck the MTA.

Here we are, Now entertain us.

Hey, y'all. My blogging hand has finally healed after a bad break. Come get some.

New cuz it's new to me: the Kozyndan x Lomography site.

A little magazine blog tells me that DJ Shadow's fin ta get some crooked lettah love on his next longplayer.

Snapple's makin' "Willy Wonka 3-course meal gum" moves with an "Apple Pie-flavored holiday beverage". Bleech. This wouldn't even be worth it if it contained enough nutmeg for you to get you high. Or so I've heard it can. Yeeeaaah. Droughts are BAD.

Spike Jonze's new Gap ad is pretty much what I daydreamed everyday that I worked retail manifest.

Bobby Bobby Bobby Power Power Power gets his brain picked at Redbull Academy. If you ain't know, main man got creditssssss.

I might have to get gone 'til November for murking this pisswhistle. Is there something in PBR that makes the drinker confuse irony with being a daft cunt?

And finally, all my fellow 20-somethings out there grindin'/graftin', don't forget to take care of the machinery while y'all're (yeah I can do that) making your imprints on the world...in other words, get ya health up!. Nothing makes you run on E quicker than improper gut fuel.

BAMPF!

That N!&&^ Will Be Dearly Missed.

Richard Franklin Lennox Thomas Pryor III
December 1, 1940 - December 10, 2005

I was away from the internet this weekend (for once), so I did not have the chance to post in mourning the death of pioneering comedian Richard Pryor, who passed away on Saturday of a heart attack after a long battle with Multiple Sclerosis, a disease of the central nervous system that wrests bodily control from its host. Mr. Pryor had been public about this battle with the same tempering, comedic fury that made him famous discussing the demons of racism, poverty, addiction, and just about any other human fuckup you can imagine. Though the disease still managed to take his life, he has gone to a place without pain now, having left behind an indelible mark on American, Black and comic culture. How many champions are there left for the underdog?

How's THAT For Timing?

Right right right... so Jef the Chef kept fussing about naming the thing the Via Fall/Winter Seasonal (dood was bitter about me selling out autumn before it's time was up), but who called it? Anyway, big big thanks to all the folks who came and filled out Triple Crown with us this weekend; the support's always appreciated and we had a gooder times. It's also very possible that we've finally found a good match with Kit & company @ Triple Crown, so don't be surprised if the Via Miserable Bitter Winter Seasonal takes place in Williamsburg.

This post's gonna be long; I know the News & Booze has been slacking off some, especially while Ix has been getting his photobloggery on and The Captain's releasing vinyl and and.. well, keep your eyes posted on Loose Tape for the remix project the Via Diablos put together in the week leading up to the Seasonal. The point is I've been slipping over here with the regular updates, so I'm playing catch-up. For your cubicle enjoyment, more mindless link-o-rama:

I don't really wanna give this one away. It involves genitals and basketball and made me laugh. Thank god for Crailtap!

Lee Quinones is my hero.

On a semi-related note, about graf legends and bicycles and what not, here be a quickie feature from Freshness Mag about the Futura/Lance Armstrong collabo (I know this is old).

I didn't really think anything of the Stussy World Tour shirt until I peeped the back. Fucking hell. Nobody told me it upped Santa Ana! Hometown pride strikes again; I will be rocking this tee to my grave.

Diplo plays at the Guggenheim for January's First Friday. Mellows.

Spinna's Soul Slam Holiday Jam (Michael Jackson vs Prince party) pops off again this Saturday.

Justin at What Do You Know? puts us onto The Invisible Shield for your iPod, made from a film "originally used to protect the leading edges of helicopter blades.

Even cooler though (and also from Justin), is this: Face Transformer. Commentary from Mr. Ewe:

It's a java program that takes an image of any person you upload and morphs it into different ages and nationalities. I don't know, it's kinda weird but if you've ever wondered what you'd look like if you 80 years old or from East Asia, check it out.

New Can Ox Track ...I was hoping I'd get nostalgic for freshman dorm room backpacker ciphers, but uh... I dunno. Pretty cool to hear Vast and Vordul on an El Producto beat, but I still can't decide how I feel about it.

The Hard Drive is the New Bling ... I swear to god that's the copy from Hitachi. I couldn't make that shit up if I tried.

Madlib's viddy for Sound Directions. Was real excited to find out about YNQ's new stuff using real musicians and not just a bunch of Otis alter-egos. Not to hate, but sometimes the noodling starts to sound a little too noodly.

Skate Videos FOR DAYSSSSSSSS (thank you The Hundreds)

Taiyo Incredible put us onto this pretty interesting interview with Saigon from Murder Dog. Anyone else catch him referring to Aesop Rock?

Prisoners of the Census (via Gothamist). From the website:

PrisonersoftheCensus.org is a special project of the Prison Policy Initiative to quantify, publicize, and reform the current practice of utilizing the Census to shift political power away from poor and minority communities and into the hands of prison expansion proponents.

Oh and.. I know this one's old too, but considering how winter's finally decided to steamroll us over, this Sony advert put a pretty wide grin on my face. Sunny day in the Bay with um... 250,000 superballs? Probably that will get me through about a week of bitterness I think. Mellow muzak by Jose Gonzalez.

VIA FALL/WINTER SEASONAL - THIS SATURDAY @ TRIPLE CROWN

VIA MEDIA PRESENTS:
Decadent & Depraved
Fall/Winter Seasonal 2005

Saturday, December 3rd 10PM - 4AM
@ Triple Crown
108 Bedford Ave. (@ North 11th St.) - Williamsburg, Brooklyn
21+ // FREE

DJ's Caps & Jones (Moving In Stereo), Captain Planet (WNYU / VIA), and DRM (Bastard Jazz) will be mixing eclectic dance bangers to satiate your deepest darkest urges. Drink specials, free giveaways, and abundant booty shaking.

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The more personal write-up goes like this: we are going to have some fun on Saturday before the cold comes and we all have to invest in sun lamps for the next couple months. The ridiculoid fun squad duo of Caps & Jones and DRM of Bastard Jazz Recordings will be rock rock well welling alongside Via's own Captain Planet, who may be bringing some newly pressed Gumbo Funk vinyl... Show up and have one of the funnerest times yous had in a while. As always, we aim to get a crowd in sweaty motion; there's not much more to it, really. Dance drink be merry and party like it's not gonna be cold for the next 18 years.